Flickers of the Fire colourway peeking through the charcoal
While I was knitting the cowl, the first flicker started out yellow, the second orange, the third, fourth, fifth and sixth were red. And I really wanted it to get through one more orange and yellow flicker before I finished. It looked like it was getting close to the end but there was no orange yet in sight.
The pattern instructions were to knit to a total of 11 inches, and my guess was that I had an inch or less left to go. But when I eyeballed it, it looked like I needed to knit another 3 inches before I could get another orange and yellow flicker.
My project on the KAL didn’t go very well, and after a particularly frustrating day, I made a confession on the KAL thread, about one of my personal flaws that affects my knitting.
I avoid things that make me anxious
I’m the person that when my library books are 2 weeks overdue, I’m so mortified and overcome by shame, it takes me another 6 weeks before I pluck up the courage to actually go and return them. To tell you the truth, I probably have library books from the 90s hidden around somewhere. I haven’t signed up for a library since around 2001, which is a good thing, because these days with technology I bet I’d be blacklisted all over town
Of course the obvious solution would be to go back 2 flickers and just cheat a little, do a join closer to the orange, and cut out a little red. But that would mean going back, and I’d done a lot of backwards and forwards already.
So I stopped knitting.
It sat on my dressing table just freaking me out, while I averted my eyes every time I walked past. Finally, one morning, after 2 weeks of KAB, I picked it up and pretended I didn’t have a problem with it.
I knitted 3 rows.
I took a deep breath, and finally did what I had been avoiding: I measured it.
It was about 7.5 – 8 inches. So, about 3 more inches to go. My anxiety was totally unfounded. I wasted 2 weeks of knitting time, because I was too afraid to pick up a tape measure.
That one worked out ok in the end – but sometimes there is a very good reason for avoiding dealing with a project.
Remember the perfect yarn that inspired the hunt for the perfect pattern? Then when I found the perfect pattern I had to find a different yarn – that one? Well, I eventually did find the right pattern for it, so I started knitting it in June last year. I expected to be finished by the beginning of August and have some time to wear it in winter.
But I got tendonitis in my wrist from the honeycomb stitch front and I had to take a break, so it took a little longer than expected. I finished the body and got on to the sleeves before I faced the reality that it was, unfortunately, quite unflattering. A-line shapes really don’t do me any favours, and I’m not sure why I thought this one would work out well.
So I stopped knitting.
I put it in my knitting basket in the corner, and gave it plenty of room every time walked past so I didn’t have to get too close and accidentally catch a glimpse of it.
It was early summer before I accepted that the only solution was to frog it, and reknit it with some waist shaping. So I plucked up all my courage, took the project bag out of the knitting basket and put it riiiiiiiiiiight at the back of my cupboard.
That way I didn’t have to walk around it every day and feel the rising panic when I thought about having to undo all my hard work. I rationalized this by telling myself that next winter was faaaaaar away and there was plenty of time to redeem the project before I needed to wear it.